David Count Da Guys Dat Can Fight
(1 Records 21:1-17)
1 Anodda time, Da One In Charge come huhu wit da Israel peopo. So den he make David stay agains dem too. Da One In Charge tell, “Go count da Israel an Judah guys.”
2 Az why da king tell Joab, da main army leada guy dat stay wit him, “Go all ova by da Israel ohanas from Dan da north side, to Beer-Sheba da south side. Count da guys dat can fight fo me know how many guys get.”
3 But Joab tell da king, “I like yoa God, Da One In Charge, make you get one hundred times mo guys too. An I like you, my boss da king, see um happen. But how come you like make lidis, aah?”
4 But wat da king tell, mo strong den wat Joab an da main army leada guys tell. Az why dey go way from da king fo write down da names, an count all da guys inside Israel dat can fight fo da king.
5 Afta dey go da odda side a da Jordan Riva, dey make camp nea Aroer, south a da town dat stay inside da gulch, an den dey go thru da Gad ohana land, an den Jazer town. 6 Dey go Gilead side, da land aroun Tahtim-Hodshi, an den Dan an Jaan, an from dea aroun by Sidon town. 7 Den dey go Tyre, da big town dat get strong wall, an all da towns fo da Hiv peopo an da Canaan peopo. In da end, dey go way from dea an go da south side a da Judah land to Beer-Sheba town.
8 Wen dey pau go all ova da land, dey come back Jerusalem side, afta nine month an twenny days.
9 Joab tell da king get plenny guys fo fight. Inside Israel get eight hundred tousan strong guys dat know how fo use sword, an inside Judah get five hundred tousan.
10 Laytas, David feel bad afta he wen count da guys dat can fight.
11 Befo David get up da nex morning, Da One In Charge give one message to Gad, one guy dat talk fo him: 12 “Go tell David, ‘Dis wat Da One In Charge tell: I get three ways fo punish you. You pick one!’ ”
13 Az why Gad go by David an tell um, “Get three ways. You can get three year wen no mo food inside yoa land. O, you get three month wen you gotta run away from all da odda peopo dat stay agains you. O, you get three days wen goin get one real bad kine sick inside yoa land. Kay den, tink bout da three tings. Den tell me wat fo tell da One dat wen sen me.”
14 David tell Gad, “Bummahs! Dis hard fo me an I real sad inside! Mo betta Da One In Charge punish me how he like! Cuz he stay show us guys plenny pity awready! Mo betta da peopo not da ones fo punish me!”
15 So Da One In Charge sen da real bad kine sick on top da Israel peopo from dat morning till da three days pau. An seventy tousan peopo mahke from Dan, da north side, to Beer-Sheba, da south side. 16 But wen da killa angel stay ready fo wipe out Jerusalem, Da One In Charge pity da Jerusalem peopo an change his mind cuz he awready punish da Israel peopo plenny. He tell da angel guy dat stay kill da peopo, “Nuff awready! No kill no moa!” Da angel dat Da One In Charge wen sen stay right den an dea by da open place wea Araunah from Jebus split da junk kine stuff from da wheat.
17 Wen David see da angel dat stay kill da peopo, he tell Da One In Charge, “Eh! I da guy dat wen do dis bad kine ting! I da one wen do wass wrong! But dese guys, dey jalike sheeps! Dey neva do notting bad! Mo betta punish me an my braddahs an sistahs!”
David Build One Altar
(1 Records 21:18-26)
18 Dat day Gad go by David an tell um, “Go up dea! Build one altar! Make one sacrifice fo Da One In Charge on top da open place wea Araunah da guy from Jebus split da junks from da wheat an da barley.” 19 So David go up dea, jalike Da One In Charge wen tell Gad fo tell um. 20 Wen Araunah look down da hill an see da king an his palace guys stay coming up by him, he go outside da open place an go down in front da king an put his face on top da groun.
21 Araunah tell, “Eh! You my boss da king! How come you come by me, yoa worka guy?”
David tell, “Fo buy yoa open place wea you split da junks from da wheat an barley, fo me build one altar ova hea fo Da One In Charge. Den da real bad kine sick dat kill da peopo no goin be no moa.”
22 Araunah tell David, “You, my boss da king. You can take wateva you like fo make da sacrifice. Hea get cows fo da burn up kine sacrifice, an wood tools an yokes fo da wood fo burn. 23 You, da king, an me, Araunah, I give you all dis.”
An Araunah tell um dis too: “I like yoa God, Da One In Charge, tink good bout you!”
24 But da king tell Araunah, “No way I goin jus take um, lidat! I gotta pay you fo um. No good I make one burn up kine sacrifice fo my God, Da One In Charge, dat no cost me notting.”
Az why David buy da open place fo split da junks from da wheat an barley, an he pay fifty piece silva fo da cows. 25 David build one altar fo Da One In Charge ova dea. He make burn up kine sacrifices. He make da kine sacrifices dat show dat God an da peopo stay tight wit each odda. Den Da One In Charge do wat David wen pray fo him do fo da Israel peopo. An da bad kine sick wen pau all ova da Israel land.