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Jesus Teach His Guys How Fo Pray
(Matthew 6:9-15; 7:7-11)
One time Jesus stay pray in one place. Wen he pau pray, one guy he stay teach tell um, “Boss, teach us guys how fo pray, jalike John wen teach his guys.”
Jesus tell, “Dis how you pray:
“ ‘Faddah,
We like all da peopo know fo shua
How good an spesho you stay.
We like you come da king fo erybody.
Try give us da food we need fo ery day.
Let us go, an hemo oua shame
Fo all da bad kine stuff we do to you,
Jalike us guys let da odda guy go,
An us no stay huhu wit dem
Fo da bad kine stuff dey do to us.
Show us how fo no do bad kine stuff
Wen somebody give us chance fo do um.’ ”
An Jesus tell his guys, “Tink bout dis! If you go one fren house at midnite an tell um, ‘My fren, lend me three bread, cuz my odda fren stay hea on one trip, an he come my house, an I no mo notting fo give him fo eat.’ Den if yoa fren inside his house tell you, ‘No bodda me! Da door stay lock awready, an me an my kids stay in bed. I no can get up fo give you someting.’ So, wat? I tell you, jus cuz he yoa fren, dat no mean he goin get up an give you da bread. Still yet, fo no make shame fo da town, he goin get up an give you eryting you need. Az why I tell you guys: Go aks, an you goin get. Go look, an you goin find. Go knock, an da door goin open fo you. 10 All da peopo dat go aks, goin get. Da guy dat go look fo someting, he goin find um. An da guy dat go knock da door, da door goin open fo him. 11 If yoa boy go aks you fo one fish, you goin give um one snake? Nah! 12 If he go aks you fo one egg, you goin give um one scorpion? Nah! 13 Eh, even if you guys bad peopo, you know how fo give good kine stuff to yoa kids. Fo shua den, yoa Faddah inside da sky, he erytime good, an he goin give his Good An Spesho Spirit to you guys cuz you go aks him fo um.”
Jesus An Beelzebul
(Matthew 12:22-30; Mark 3:20-27)
14 Had one guy dat get one bad kine spirit, dat make da guy so he no can talk. Jesus make da bad spirit let go da guy. Wen da bad spirit let um go, da guy dat no can talk, start fo talk. An all da peopo, dat blow dea mind. 15  But some guys tell, “Nah! Was Beelzebul, da main leada guy fo da bad kine spirits, you know. Beelzebul, he da one give Jesus da powa fo make dat spirit let go da guy, az why!”
16  Odda guys try fo trick Jesus. Dey tell um fo show dem someting awesome from God in da sky fo show proof who him. 17 But Jesus know wat dey tink, an he tell um, “Da country dat go agains each odda, bus up da country. Da town o da ohana dat go agains each odda, no can stay strong. 18 If Satan make his guys let go da peopo, den Satan stay go agains Satan. How he goin stay one strong king? I tell dis cuz you guys tell dass me make da bad kine spirits no bodda da peopo no, cuz you tink dea leada guy Beelzebul give me powa fo do dat. 19 You guys tell dat da leada guy fo da bad kine spirits, he da one dat give me Jesus da powa fo make da spirits no bodda da peopo no moa. Kay den. Who give yoa guys da powa fo make da bad kine spirits no bodda da peopo, aah? Az Satan give dem da powa, o wat? Not Satan, dass fo shua. Az how yoa guys goin make proof dat wat you tell bout me stay wrong. 20 But if I make da bad kine spirits no bodda da peopo no moa cuz I get powa from God, dat show dat God stay da king, an he stay hea now by you guys, an you guys neva know.
21 “If one big moke get all his knifes an clubs fo guard his house, den his stuffs stay safe. 22 But if one mo bigga moke come, an bus him up, he goin take away da knifes an clubs. Da firs moke wen trus da knifes an clubs, but da mo bigga moke goin rip off all da stuffs, an split um up wit his guys.
23  “If you no stay wit me, den you stay agains me. Da guy dat no work wit me, he ony work agains me.”
Da Bad Spirit Come Back
(Matthew 12:43-45)
24 “Wen one bad kine spirit no bodda one guy no moa, dat spirit go all ova da boonies fo find one place fo res, but no can find notting. Den he figga, ‘Eh, mo betta I go back inside da guy I wen bodda befoa.’ 25 Wen he go dea, da guy stay clean inside, jalike wen you sweep one house an fix um up. 26 Den da spirit go get seven odda spirits mo worse den him, an dey all go take ova da guy, an stay dea. So in da end, da guy dat get da bad kine spirit secon time come mo worse den befoa.”
Stay Good Inside Fo Real Kine
27 Wen Jesus tell dat, one wahine from da peopo tell, “Da wahine dat wen born you an breas feed you, her da one stay good inside!” 28 But Jesus tell, “Da peopo dat hear wat God tell um fo do, an do um, dey da ones dat stay real good inside!”
Show Us Proof!
(Matthew 12:38-42; Mark 8:12)
29  All da peopo stay jam aroun Jesus, an he tell, “Da peopo nowdays, dey do bad kine stuff. Dey erytime like see proof dat I fo real. An dey no goin see dat kine proof. Dey ony goin see one proof jalike da proof da guy Jonah wen show befo time. 30  Jonah, he talk fo God long time befo time. Wat wen happen to him, wen show proof fo da peopo inside Nineveh town dat Jonah come from God. Dass jalike me, da Fo Real Kine Guy. Wat goin happen to me goin show proof fo da peopo nowdays dat I come from God. 31  Bumbye wen da peopo dat stay hea nowdays stan in front God da Judge, da Queen from da south side, az far away Sheba side, her goin stan up too, an show proof dat da peopo dat stay hea nowdays no lissen. Cuz befo time she come from far away fo lissen wat King Solomon tell, da one dat know wat fo do erytime. An look! Get someting mo importan den Solomon stay hea now, an da peopo still no lissen! 32  Wen da peopo dat stay hea nowdays goin stan in front God da Judge, da peopo inside Nineveh town goin stan up too. Dey goin show proof dat da peopo dat stay hea nowdays still yet stay do bad kine stuff. Cuz wen Jonah teach da Nineveh peopo, dey come sorry fo all da bad kine stuff dey wen do, an dey no do um no moa. Now get one guy mo importan den Jonah stay hea, an you guys still do bad kine stuff!”
Da Light Fo Da Body
(Matthew 5:15; 6:22-23)
33  “You no light one candle an hide um unda one bucket. You put um up on top one high place, aah? Den erybody dat come inside da house can see da light. 34 Da eye jalike one lamp fo inside yoa body. So if you get one good heart fo help peopo, dass jalike yoa eye okay an you stay all light inside. But if you one greedy buggah, dass jalike yoa eye not good an you stay all dark inside! 35 Make shua you get da light inside you, an you no stay dark inside. 36 So, if you get one good heart inside you, an you not greedy, dass jalike you get light inside you fo shua!”
Jesus Scold Da Pharisee Guys
An Da Teachas Dat Teach
Da Rules From God
(Matthew 23:1-36; Mark 12:38-40; Luke 20:45-47)
37 Wen Jesus pau talk, one Pharisee guy tell um fo come his house fo eat. So he go inside, an sit down fo eat. 38 But da Pharisee guy see dat Jesus no wash hands firs befo he eat da way da Pharisee guys do um, an he tink plenny bout dat. 39 An Jesus, Da One In Charge, tell him, “You know, you Pharisee guys, jalike you guys clean ony da outside a da cup an da plate. But inside you, stay full a bad kine stuff, an you like stash eryting fo ony you! 40 You guys no tink! Da One dat wen make da outside, make da inside too! 41 Give stuff to da peopo dat no mo notting from da stuffs you get, an you know wat? Eryting goin come okay fo you guys, da way God see you.
42  “Wassamatta you Pharisee guys?! You goin get it! You guys give God ten percent a eryting, even da mint spice an da rue spice, an all da odda kine herbs. But same time, no bodda you guys if you no do da right tings, an you guys no mo love an aloha fo God. Mo betta, make shua you get love an aloha fo God, an do da right tings, an no foget da ten percent too.
43 “Wassamatta you Pharisee guys?! You guys goin get it! You guys erytime like fo sit down in da spesho chairs inside da Jew churches, an you like fo all da peopo talk nice to you in da open market.
44 “Wassamatta you guys?! You guys mahke inside, jalike da graves dat da peopo no can see. An dey walk on top um cuz dey donno get one grave dea.”
45 One teacha dat teach da Rules From God tell Jesus, “Eh Teacha, wen you tell dat, you talk bad bout us guys too.”
46 Jesus tell, “Wassamatta you teacha guys dat teach da Rules From God?! You guys goin get it! Cuz you like make all kine rules! Jalike you stack up big heavy kine stuffs on top da peopo backs, dat real hard fo carry. But jalike you guys no lif one finga fo help dem carry all dat—you no like help da peopo do wat yoa rules tell um fo do, even litto bit.
47 “Wassamatta you guys?! Cuz you make nice tombs fo da guys dat wen talk fo God, but was yoa ancesta guys wen kill um. 48 So you show you figga dass good, wat yoa ancesta guys wen do. Dey wen kill da guys dat talk fo God, an you guys make dea tombs! 49 Dass why God know wat he talking bout wen he tell, ‘I goin sen um guys dat talk fo me, an guys I sen all ova fo tell da Good Stuff, an dey goin kill some, an make oddas suffa.’ 50 So da peopo dat stay hea nowdays, dey goin get da blame fo all da guys dat peopo eva wen kill cuz dey talk fo God, 51  from da firs one Abel to Zekariah. Dey wen kill Zekariah right inside da open lanai fo da Temple, wit da place dat stay spesho fo God one side, an da altar da odda side. Dass right! An I like tell you guys dis: Da guys dat stay hea nowdays, dey goin get all da blame.
52 “Wassamatta you teachas dat teach da Rules From God?! You guys goin get it! You guys donno wat God tell, an you no let da peopo dat like know wat he tell find out. Jalike you guys take away da key fo open da door fo peopo know wat God stay tell!”
53 Wen Jesus go way from dat place, da teachas dat teach da Rules From God an da Pharisee guys start fo gang up on him, an try fo make him tell dem all kine stuff. 54 Dey like trick him wit wat he tell dem fo dem bus him.
11:15 11:15: Matt 9:34; 10:25 11:16 11:16: Matt 12:38; 16:1; Mark 8:11 11:23 11:23: Mark 9:40 11:29 11:29: Matt 16:4; Mark 8:12 11:30 11:30: Jonah 3:4 11:31 11:31: 1Kings 10:1-10; 2Rec 9:1-12 11:32 11:32: Jonah 3:5 11:33 11:33: Matt 5:15; Mark 4:21; Luke 8:16 11:42 11:42: Pries 27:30 11:51 11:51 a: Start 4:8; 2Rec 24:20-21