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Da Smart Luna Story
Jesus wen teach his guys dis too: “You wen hear da luna story, bout da rich guy dat get one luna, an da luna wen spen da rich guy money on all kine stuffs? So da rich guy tell da luna fo come by him, an he tell, ‘Eh, wat dis I hear bout you? You betta show proof how you wen spen my money, cuz you no goin be in charge no moa.’
“Da luna figga, ‘Wat I goin do now? My boss goin fire me, an I not strong enuff fo dig ditch, an I shame fo beg. I know wat I goin do. Wen I no mo job ova hea, da peopo goin tell me come dea house.’
“Den da luna tell all da guys dat owe da rich guy money fo come by him. He tell da firs guy, ‘How much you owe my boss?’ Da guy tell, ‘One hundred barrel olive oil.’ Da luna tell, ‘Dis yoa bill. Hurry up! Sit down an write fifty barrel.’ Da luna tell anodda guy, ‘How much you owe?’ He tell, ‘One tousan basket wheat.’ Da luna tell, ‘Dis yoa bill. Write eight hundred basket.’ No matta da luna no do wass right befo time, da boss talk good to him now bout dis smart ting he wen do. You know, da peopo dat stick wit dis world mo smart wit money kine stuff den da peopo dat stick wit da light.
“I tell you, you guys go use yoa dirty money fo make frenz. Den bumbye, wen da time come dat eryting come hamajang, God goin tell you guys ‘E komo mai, come inside!’ inside his place dat stay foeva. 10 Whoeva do da small kine stuff he suppose to do, you can trus him fo do da big kine stuff he suppose to do too. Whoeva no do da right ting fo da small kine stuff, you no can trus him fo do da right ting fo da big kine stuff. 11 Az why, no matta peopo can get money fo do stuff dass not right, if you not da kine guy peopo can trus wit even dirty money, no way God goin trus you fo take kea all his rich kine stuffs. 12 An if nobody can trus you fo take kea odda peopo stuffs, no way God goin give you stuffs fo ony you.
13  “One worka guy no can do notting, if two boss guys own him same time. Bumbye he goin hate one boss an love da odda boss. He goin do good kine stuff fo one boss an tink bad bout da odda boss. You no can work fo da God dass fo real an da money god.”
14 But da Pharisee guys, dey love money. Wen dey hear all da stuff Jesus wen tell, dey make fun a him. 15 Jesus tell um, “You da guys dat tell da peopo you do da right kine stuff, but God know how you guys stay inside. Da stuff da peopo tink stay real good, dass da stuff God figga no good.”
Odda Stuff Jesus Tell
(Matthew 11:12-13)
16  “Had da Rules Moses wen write down, an da stuff da guys dat talk fo God wen write down, till John Da Baptiza come. Afta dat us guys tell da Good Stuff bout how peopo can get God fo dea king, an erybody push each odda fo come close, cuz dey like get God fo be dea king. 17 Goin be mo easy fo da sky an da earth disappea, den fo even one small word from da Rules From God fo disappea.
18  “Whoeva dump his wife an marry anodda wahine, dass jalike he stay fool aroun somebody dass not his wife. An da guy dat marry one wahine afta her husban wen dump her, dass jalike he stay fool aroun wit anodda guy wife.”
Da Rich Guy An Lazarus
19 Jesus tell, “One time had one rich guy dat wear da rich kine clotheses an he live jalike one king. 20 Had one begga guy Lazarus dat get sores all ova him. Ery day his frenz put him down by da rich guy gate. 21 He like eat da stuff dat fall down from da rich guy table. An da dogs even come lick his sores.
22 “Bumbye da begga guy mahke an da angel guys carry him to da mos importan place nex to Abraham. An da rich guy mahke too, an dey bury him. 23 Inside Hell da rich guy suffa plenny, an he look up. He spock Abraham far away wit God, wit Lazarus by his side.
24 “So he yell, ‘Eh Abraham, my ancesta guy! Pity me an sen Lazarus fo dip da tip a his finga in watta fo cool my tongue, cuz I stay suffa plenny inside dis fire!’
25 “But Abraham tell, ‘My boy, no foget wen you was alive, you get all da good kine stuff, an Lazarus suffa all da bad kine stuff. Now he stay good ova hea wit God, an you stay suffa inside da fire. 26 You know, in da middo get one real big ditch. You stay on one side, an us guys stay on da odda side. Da peopo dat like go from ova hea to you no can, an da peopo dat like go from ova dea to ova hea no can too.’
27 “Da rich guy tell, ‘Den I beg you, cuz you my ancesta guy, sen Lazarus to my faddah house. 28 Cuz I get five braddahs. He gotta tell dem bout dis place, fo dem no come hea an suffa.’
29 “Abraham tell, ‘Yoa braddahs get da Rules From Moses, an da tings da odda guys dat talk fo God write down inside da Bible befo time. Yoa braddahs can hear wat dey tell.’
30 “But da rich guy tell, ‘No ways, Abraham, my ancesta guy! But if one guy come back to dem from mahke, dey goin come sorry fo da bad kine stuff dey wen do, an no do um no moa.’
31 “But Abraham tell, ‘If dey no lissen da Rules From Moses, an to da guys dat talk fo God, dey no goin lissen an trus God, even if one guy come back alive from mahke.’ ”
16:13 16:13: Matt 6:24 16:16 16:16: Matt 11:12-13 16:18 16:18: Matt 5:32; 1Cor 7:10-11