Who Da Numba One Guy?
(Mark 9:33-37; Luke 9:46-48)
Anodda time da guys Jesus stay teach come by him, an tell, “From all da guys dat get God in da sky fo dea King, who da numba one guy?”
Jesus tell one small kid fo come, an he put um in front dem. He tell, “I tell you guys dis fo shua: If you guys no change an start fo tink jalike one litto kid, no way God in da sky goin be yoa King. Da guy dat no figga he gotta be numba one erytime, jalike dis small kid, dat guy goin come numba one, from dose dat get God in da sky fo dea King. Whoeva take in one small kid jalike dis one, cuz da kid stay tight wit me, same ting, dat guy take me in.”
No Good, Make Kids Do Bad Kine Stuff
(Mark 9:42; Luke 17:1-2)
Den Jesus tell, “Dese small kids hea, dey trus me! If somebody try make um fo dem no like trus me no moa, mo betta take one mangus heavy stone from da mill, an tie um aroun da guy, den throw him in da deep watta fo drown!
“Bummahs! Da peopo hea inside da world, dey goin get it! Cuz get guys ova hea dat try fo make odda guys do bad kine stuff! Fo shua, goin get peopo dat like make odda guys do bad kine stuff. But Bummahs! Da guy dat make anodda guy do bad kine stuff, he goin get it!
“If yoa hand o yoa leg make you do bad kine stuff, cut um off an throw um away! Mo betta you live to da max foeva, no matta you no mo one hand o one leg. No good you get da hand an da leg, an dey throw you inside da fire dat stay burn foeva. If yoa eye make you do bad kine stuff, pull um out an throw um away! Mo betta you live foeva wit one eye. No good you get two eyes an dey throw you inside Hell wea get plenny fire.”
Da Sheep Dat Stay Lost
(Luke 15:3-7)
10  Jesus tell, “Watch out dat you guys no figga you mo betta den one a dese small kids hea. I tell you guys, dey get spesho angel guys inside da sky dat can talk to my Faddah up dea, any time dey like.
11-13 “How you guys figga wat one farma guy goin do? If he get hundred sheeps, an one sheep stay lost, he goin let da ninety nine odda sheeps stay ova dea on top da hill, an go look fo da one sheep dat stay lost, aah? An I tell you dis too: wen he find um, he feel mo good inside fo da one sheep he wen find, den fo da ninety-nine sheeps dat neva get lost. [Me, I Da Guy Dass fo Real. I wen come fo take da guys dat stay lost outa da bad kine stuff dey stay do.]
14 “Az why my Faddah in da sky no like if even one a da small kids hea stay lost.”
If Yoa Braddah Do Bad Kine Stuff
(Luke 17:3; John 8:17; Rules Secon Time 19:15)
15  Jesus tell, “If yoa braddah do one bad ting to you, go tell him wat he wen do. But you go tell um. If he lissen, den he goin come jalike yoa braddah one mo time. 16  But if he no like lissen, take one o two odda guys wit you an tell him one mo time, cuz jalike da Bible tell from befo time, ‘Fo eryting, need two o three guys fo tell wat dey wen see an hear, so you know fo shua wat happen.’ 17 If he no like lissen dem, den go tell all da church guys. An if he no like lissen dem, make to him jalike he from one a da peopos dat donno God, o jalike he one crooked guy dat colleck tax money.
Wen You Tell “Can” O “No Can”
(Matthew 16:19)
18  “I tell you guys dis too: If you tell ‘No can’ bout someting ova hea inside dis world, God in da sky goin tell ‘No can’ too. An if you guys tell ‘Dass okay’ bout someting ova hea inside dis world, God in da sky goin tell ‘Dass okay’ too. 19 I tell you guys one mo time, if two a you guys inside dis world pray togedda to God fo da same ting, my Faddah in da sky goin make um happen fo you guys. 20 Cuz wea evas two o three guys come togedda cuz dey my guys, I stay right ova dea wit dem.”
Da Worka Guy
Dat No Like Let Da Odda Guy Go
21  Den Peter go by Jesus an tell, “Eh, Boss, how many times my braddah can do bad tings to me, an I gotta let him go? Seven times, o wat?” 22  Jesus tell him, “No, not ony seven times, but seventy times seven.”
23 Den Jesus tell, “Dass how you guys gotta make. Cuz erytime wen God in da sky stay King, dass jalike get one king dat look da books fo find out how much money his worka guys owe him. 24 He sit down, an dey bring one worka guy by him dat owe um uku pile a money. 25 But da worka guy no mo money fo pay him, so da king tell da odda worka guys, ‘Kay den. Go sell da guy fo make him one slave, an sell his wife an his kids too, an eryting he get. Dass how he goin pay wat he owe.’
26 “But dat worka guy go down an beg um. He tell, ‘Eh, Boss, try wait! Give me chance! I goin pay you back all da money!’ 27 Cuz da king get pity fo him, he let da worka guy go, an tell him, ‘No need pay notting.’
28 “Den dat same worka guy go outside, an spock anodda worka guy dat owe him ony litto bit money. He grab him by da neck, an tell him, ‘Eh! You owe me money! You betta pay me back!’ 29 Da odda worka guy go down an beg um, ‘Try wait! Give me chance! I goin pay you back all da money.’
30 “But da firs worka guy no like wait, so he tell da guards fo put da odda guy inside da prison till he pay wat he owe him.
31 “Da odda worka guys see wat happen, an dey come all bum out. Dey go tell da king eryting dat wen happen. 32 Den da king tell da firs worka guy fo come, an tell, ‘Wassamatta you! Pilau, how you ack! You wen beg me. I let you go, an tell you dat you no need pay me back notting. 33 But how come you no pity da odda guy, jalike I wen pity you an give you chance?’ 34 Da king come real huhu. He give da guy to da guards inside da prison fo torture him, till he pay eryting he owe.”
35 Den Jesus tell one mo ting, “My Faddah in da sky goin do lidat to all you guys, if you no let yoa braddah go fo real kine fo all da bad kine stuff yoa braddah wen do to you.”
18:1 18:1: Luke 22:24 18:3 18:3: Mark 10:15; Luke 18:17 18:8 18:8: Matt 5:30 18:9 18:9: Matt 5:29 18:10 18:10: Luke 19:10 18:15 18:15: Luke 17:3 18:16 18:16: Rules2 19:15 18:18 18:18: Matt 16:19; John 20:23 18:21 18:21: Luke 17:3-4 18:22 18:22: Start 4:24